Journey Series: Khalidah

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The Femme Oasis: How do you identify yourself (gender and gender performance)?

Khalidah: I identify as female and feminine.

TFO: What is your current occupation?

K: Currently, I am a Study Analyst at a market research company. I focus on demographics among a few other things.

TFO: What do you do as a hobby?

K: My hobbies are singing, drawing, painting and reading. Sometimes I play violin, but I haven’t done that in a while. I also like working out and playing volleyball. Right now I’m also really into this thing called bullet journaling.

TFO: What are some organizations you’re involved in?

K: I’m not involved in any organizations at the moment.

TFO: What is your dream job?

K: My dream job is being a singer/songwriter.

TFO: What are the three major stressors in your life?

K: Bills, bills, bills, not being where I want to be, and social interaction

TFO: How do you cope with your stresses (if at all)?

K: A lot of the time I just hold a lot in until I can’t rather than coping with it. I pray, I sometimes cry, or write in my journal. I talk to my sister, or just somebody. My favorite way of coping is just putting on headphones, turning up the volume as loud as it goes, and listening to sad songs until I cry. I usually feel a lot better after that.

TFO: Do you have goals you set for your life overall?

K: My major goals are to have a better relationship with God, not living paycheck to paycheck anymore, and being comfortable in my own skin.

TFO: What is your process in achieving these goals?

K: I try to save a little from each of my paychecks, even if it’s just one single dollar. It’s one step closer to not having to wait for and worry about things that you need. I try to read the bible every day. This has become a lot easier for me since I’ve downloaded the app onto my phone, and it gives me a little lightning bolt of encouragement every time I even open the app. So, that helps me to at least read the verse of the day.  

TFO: What is your daily mantra (if you have one)?

K: I’ve recently started saying to myself “is it really worth it?” I say this at least once a day. I was finding myself getting irritated and angry a lot, then one day it just clicked to me that it doesn’t matter what other people do. I can’t control them; I can only control myself and my feelings. They don’t care, so why do I? I’ve been a lot happier since then.

TFO: Are you happy where you are in life?

K: I have days where I’m extremely happy, and other days, not so much.
TFO: If not, would you say you’re unhappy or just not completely satisfied because you want better/more?

K: I’m definitely not completely satisfied and want more from life.

TFO: Are you on a path you feel is right for you?

K: I would say that I’m on the right path, but I know that there are other things that I could be doing to get where I want to be.

TFO: Do you feel confused or pressure to figure out if you are on the right path?

K: Most of the time I’m extremely confused as to what I’m doing with my time.  

TFO: If you feel you aren’t on the right path for you, what are your roadblock(s)?

K: I’m my own roadblock. I let my anxiety get in the way of doing things that could be beneficial to me.

TFO: Do you feel you can alleviate these hindrances or do you feel they are bigger than you?

K: If I wasn’t so anxious I wouldn’t have so many problems.

TFO: What are some pressures of society you wish didn’t exist?

K: I wish that society didn’t make people feel like they have to be perfect. A lot of people feel like they’re less than because of how they look, or what possessions they have, and that’s never a good feeling.

TFO: What would be one thing you don’t have but you want at this very moment (it can be tangible or intangible)?

K: I would like to have my degree.

TFO: What do you do for self-care (if anything)?

K: Self-care is important to me. I like to do little things to pamper myself like hair/face masks. Also things like getting my eyebrows done, and putting on a pair of earrings always help me to feel put together. As far as mentally I will just take a day to watch movies or just sit clean and listen to music all day.

TFO: What is something you do well that you can offer society?

K: Singing is something that I do well and would like to share with the world.

TFO: Do you have goods or services you want to sell or promote to your fellow femmes and women?

K: I do makeup at very affordable prices, so everyone can afford to feel beautiful.  

TFO: Where can we find you (social media, email, organization etc.)?

K: I’m on Instagram @najahtheninja_