Solo Sex

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Solo sex: It’s one of those things that you hear a lot about from sex health professionals. Masturbation is something professionals always seem to stress to patients in a similar way to how dentists stress brushing three times a day. And, just as many of us don't brush enough, many of us don't masturbate enough. This may be for a variety of reasons, but I think many people simply don't know how to masturbate.

I know I didn’t know how to masturbate for many years, so I didn’t try it out until I was nineteen. Despite being sexually active throughout my teenage years, the idea of touching myself was sort of taboo to me, as it is for many people. I didn't know where to really begin: Do I just rub my vagina? Do I penetrate myself? I had many questions that I had to figure out for myself. So, at nineteen I purchased my first vibrator and I had my first orgasm. Yes– I said it: my first orgasm. When I first started masturbating I would watch pornography featuring girls masturbating and tried to mimic what they did.The process involved a lot of trial and error, but that's how I got started.

Eventually, of course, I became confident enough to do more research and to ask my partners for help. Recently though, I had a conversation with my friends and I discovered that they still feel uncomfortable not only with masturbating but also with talking about it. This made me realize that they aren't the only people who feel this way and I thought that other people might need information and tips about masturbating.

Masturbating is the safest sex you can have and is often the most pleasurable. Why? Because nobody can pleasure you like you. Solo sex also has other benefits too; according to Planned Parenthood, Masturbation can “help treat sexual problems, strengthen muscle tone in your pelvic and anal areas, reduce stress, release sexual tension, help you sleep better, relieve menstrual cramps and muscle tension, and improve your self-esteem and body image.” It carries many benefits, but only when practiced in a safe and healthy way. Below are some tips to help you get started.

Use lube

Lube can make the biggest difference during masturbation. It can make things easier and even a little faster if you are trying to squeeze in a session. Don’t be afraid to try out different kinds of lube, but be sure to note the ingredients in the lube you use, as some types of lube can damage toys and condoms.


It is a common assumption that women and femmes don’t enjoy porn, but we all know that is not true. Porn can be amazing and even help set the mood during a solo session. There’s porn for whatever you’re into– utilize it.

Don't forget anal

Anal masturbation is an often forgotten and underrated part of masturbation, but a little anal play can be fun. You don't have to penetrate yourself, you can rub your anus or even just put a little pressure on it. And, if you're interested in anal sex but have never had anal sex before, I highly recommend trying anal masturbation first.

Set aside time

I know it's easier said than done, but try to set aside time for yourself. Masturbation can be an important part of self-care. If you’re a busy person, try fitting in time when you first wake up in the morning, at night before bed, or in the shower when you’re getting ready. By taking this time for yourself, you'll notice a difference.

Sex toys

Sex toys are my favorite things to try out. There are so many different types. If you are a little shy about going to a store to buy a toy, try looking online. You may have to try a few to find one you like, but it's worth it your body will thank you for the orgasms.

Different places and positions

You don't have to just masturbate in your bedroom on your back. Mix it up, try having a session in the tub or try out a new position. Experiment– just like with sex, each position feels different when you masturbate.


WASH YOUR HANDS AND CLEAN YOUR TOYS! Bacteria is not your friend, especially near your genitals. Make sure that you wash your hands and clean your toys before and after each use.

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Masturbation is important component of your sex life and self-care routine. It's nothing to be ashamed of and something you should do often. Take it step-by-step and go as slow as you need to. If you want more information about masturbation, Planned Parenthood offers a variety of information to help you get started.

Nobody can pleasure you like you.