Soulmates: Fact or Fiction?

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As we step into the beginning of February, love is in the air. Candy hearts and Hallmark cards are on every corner, and it might have you thinking about your so-called soulmate, or lack thereof. Maybe you’re questioning if such a thing even exists. A soulmate is defined as the one person suited for you, forever. It has been described as a deep, personal, natural connection that is unmatched. These are pretty words, and I have to admit that the hopeless romantic in me yearns to believe them.

However, like most people, I am slightly skeptical about the whole soulmate idea. If we are constantly growing and changing as people, how can one other human be fit for us for the rest of our lives? Not to mention, how do you even know? What is the sure sign that you have found your soulmate? Dr. Carmen Harra, a psychologist, attempted to answer this with a list of 10 elements you will find in a soulmate, and to be honest, some of them sound a little toxic. With phrases like, “you two against the world,” and “you can’t live without them,” I am a bit weary. This type of dependency and isolation can’t be a healthy mentality, and surely shouldn’t be necessary in finding a soulmate.

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eyond this, the traditional idea of a soulmate is catered to monogamous relationships. It doesn’t seem fair that those who choose polyamory or another form of nontraditional relationships are excluded from this idea of true, everlasting love. With all of this in mind, doesn’t it make sense that if there is a such thing as soulmates, we are granted more than one? If some higher power or supernatural force does grant us a soulmate, maybe we have different soulmates for different purposes and periods in our life. This theory also allows room for platonic soulmates: friends who love you and grow with you for life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a lover of the mystical and all things romantic. I want to believe that star-crossed, past life lovers exist. As a woman currently in a monogamous relationship, I can say that I am in love, and that it feels right. But how could I possibly know if that means it will last forever, or that it is ultimately “meant to be”? I have to wonder, does anyone really know, or do we just convince ourselves because it sounds nice? Whether or not you have a soulmate, or many, it seems like one of those things you don’t find out until the end.