Unwinding Into Womanhood

Higher | Utsah Pandey

Tips to Keep Calm and Save Time

My mind changed at 26. My brain opened up a new compartment and it set up a whole new operating system before I could evict. Things that had once seemed innocent and organic began to seem childish and abnormal. It turned out to be the beginning of a new journey to take responsibility for things that a woman has to learn by her late twenties. It’s the realization that the nagging voices of your parents that you once raged against were actually talking boundaries that operated on our behalf whether we understood or not.

It sounds simple but, it isn’t. On top of dealing with hygiene, school, work, children, housekeeping, budgeting and relationships, we also now have to steer ourselves without instructions. Yikes!

When you are half-stepping family appearances, missing dates and forgetting deodorant; you’ve forgotten about yourself.

I have struggled with juggling all of the moving parts of being a good friend, family member and partner, as do many other women and I decided it was time for personal action. I was absolutely disgusted by the constant losing of my keys, overbooking myself and forgetting to eat at the risk of malnutrition.

I set out on a Google hunt for the remedy and ended up signing up for a $39 (or free trial) online course for time management and some free, bearable meditation apps from the Apple Store. I cleared a Monday and committed to finishing the 8-hour course work, prepared my snacks and dove in. Within 5 minutes of beginning the course my chest had tightened with shame over how I could have remedied so much, so long ago, with such ease. I burned and tingled with embarrassment through the quizzes and note taking but, in the end, I was wiser for it. I learned of my boundary issues. A lot of women I have met struggle with setting boundaries in important relationships. But our time is just as important as our duties. When you are half-stepping family appearances, missing dates and forgetting deodorant; you’ve forgotten about yourself.

After the educational component of my personal action was complete,  I needed help understanding what boundaries looked like. I searched YouTube and  watched inspirational videos, read the biographies of Gabrielle Union & Issa Rae and other successful women, and kept myself motivated to learn with a self-esteem meditation program as my support system.

It’s taking effect, and I’m relieved. I know there are those who will read this and feel like this will not work. I’m not any happiness doctor but, this definitely bought me some joy. As women, we are called upon to manage a lot of things. We must be careful to manage ourselves as well. Meditation, reading and inspirational speeches are great ways to learn to build boundaries and self -love. Try them, take care of yourself and share your journey with someone like you.