Plans for Not Making a Romantic Relationship Your Everything
Isolated Lovers | Jacqueline Jun Ha
One day I’m with my friend Vicky hanging out, listening to music, drinking sangria, and Vicky mentions to me that she’s met this great guy named Tom. That’s awesome! I love Vicky. Vicky deserves good things.
But then Vicky disappears. Vanishes. Vicky isn’t responding to my calls, she isn’t texting me back as often. The next week she won’t come drink sangria because she has a date with Tom, then another week she’s with Tom’s friends. After a few more declined invitations, I don’t even bother hit her up. I felt like a desperate ex trying to hang out with her. So, what happened? She got into a serious relationship with Tom. Then, I didn’t see her for four months.
“... when you’re contacting your friends only after your latest break-up, and you don’t know what to do by yourself anymore, you’ve made the mistake of making your relationship your everything”
We’ve all been there. We have all had that friend that we’re hanging with regularly and then, suddenly, they’re gone. It’s happened to me too; I’ve been a Vicky. It’s easy to fall into that pitfall. Romantic relationships are beautiful. You should be with your best friend, someone you trust, can be yourself around, and want to spend your time with. But, when you’re contacting your friends only after your latest break-up, and you don’t know what to do by yourself anymore, you’ve made the mistake of making your relationship your everything.
It makes sense for it to happen, but it’s essential to prevent romantic relationships from taking over your life. I mean, hopefully everything with your significant other will work out, but the majority of the time, it won’t. It’s vital to maintain your identity outside of your relationship. Fill your time with things that have meaning that isn’t derived from a single person. Balance is key. Maintain friendships. Do activities you enjoy. Those are the things that make you you. After All, isn’t that the person your significant other fell in love with in the first place?
Aside from maintaining hobbies and relationships with other people, there’s one critical entity to remember: yourself. I had a striking realization. Maybe this is obvious, but I recently realized that the only person I’m guaranteed to have in my life forever is me. It’s weird that it’s so easy to receive love from another person, and easier still to give love to another person. However, the most important relationship to maintain is the one with yourself.
I’ve been better at supporting and giving myself attention and love. It’s made a world of a difference. It’s alleviated a lot of pressure. After all, you cannot fall into the pitfall of making a romantic relationship your everything if there’s no deficit of love. You won’t be a Vicky and you won’t disappear. You’re not waiting for another piece, because are already your everything, and your partner will just be the “and more” in your beautiful journey through this world.